Well, I´m feeling so bad right now, so miserable that I really don´t know how I´ll make through the day. I woke up nice but after those words, I was turned my mood and here I am, feeling that way.
Why words can cause so many warm? Specially those I just listened to, from someone so special and close, why? After I heard about my life, the way I live and how I deal with things, I can´t act differently, not right now and maybe not for a while.
It should have been a great occasion, I´m almost finishing my novel, it´s only a few pages left to write, it´s doing well, the story has come perfectly and everything fitted but because of that, of my novels and dreams that I listened to those words.
Who am I thinking I´ll become a author? I should have stayed in real life instead of living a crazy and stupid dream, not to mention about my mistakes, those I made back them, those I made in a month ago and some that I´ll make in the future. Well, after that I drunk my coffee and went to work, feeling bad and sad, devastated during the subway, like a 25 minutes trip lasted a lifetime.
Now I´m at work, in front of my computer and I really can´t do anything less than feelling that way, I locked my door and I hope nobody comes bothering me, not now or during the day, I´m feeling like digging a whole and go inside it, disappear for a while and then re-start as someone brand new but It´s impossible, I´ll have to stay me, face everything and everyone and put that behind, like I always do but this time, it´s pretty hard to do that. Indeed, I´ll get better by the end of the day, I´ll try something to help me get through it, maybe a movie or someone but this sadness will last for quite a while, if there is a light that never goes out, I think it´s not for me, not for this person who dared to dream, a dream that he may not see fulfilled but it´s not right or fair to say the truth for a dreamer, he has to break his face by himself, which by some help, I already broken mine.
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